TL;DR: A courthouse wedding follows the same core etiquette as any wedding — just scaled down: invite 2 to 10 guests, dress one notch above business attire, tip your officiant $20 to $50 if allowed, and send thank-you notes within two weeks. You do not owe anyone a traditional reception, but you do owe your closest people a heads-up before they find out online.

Direct answer

Courthouse wedding etiquette rests on three rules: keep the guest list intentional, communicate clearly, and acknowledge people properly afterward. The ceremony itself is governed by the clerk's office — arrive on time, bring the right documents, follow the judge's lead. Everything else (who you invite, what you wear, whether you host a meal after) is your call, as long as you don't surprise close family by omission or mislead extended family about what's happening.

Practical sections

Who to invite — and who to tell

Courthouses typically cap attendance at 2 to 10 guests, depending on the chamber. Prioritize in this order:

• Required witnesses (most states require 1 or 2 over age 18)
• Immediate parents and siblings, if your relationship supports it
• One or two closest friends

If you're eloping privately with zero guests, that's valid — but tell your parents before the ceremony, not after. A "we're going to the courthouse Friday, we wanted you to know" phone call prevents decades of hurt feelings. You do not need permission; you do owe notice.

What to wear

Dress one step above what you'd wear to a nice dinner. You'll be in official photos, and the judge takes cues from your outfit about how formal to make the ceremony.

• Partner 1: a white or ivory dress or suit, a short veil, or a colored cocktail dress — anything from $80 to $800 works
• Partner 2: a suit and tie, or a dress and nice flats
• Guests: business casual to cocktail attire; avoid white and avoid jeans

Skip floor-length gowns and full tuxedos unless you're heading to a reception afterward. Courthouse hallways and security lines are not built for trains.

Tipping and gifts for officials

Most judges and magistrates cannot accept tips or gifts — they're government employees. Do not push it. If the courthouse uses an outside officiant or a clerk who is permitted to accept gratuities, $20 to $50 is appropriate.

You can always:

• Write a thank-you note to the judge or clerk
• Tip the photographer ($20 to $50) if you hired one
• Tip the driver if you took a car service

Announcements and guests who weren't invited

Courthouse weddings often create a second, larger question: how do you tell people who weren't there?

• Announcement cards mailed within 4 to 6 weeks of the ceremony are the traditional move
• A social media post is fine, but tell parents, siblings, and your wedding party privately first
• Gifts: guests are not obligated to send one, and you should not register before a courthouse-only wedding unless you're also hosting a reception

If you're planning a party or reception later, say so explicitly on the announcement ("A celebration will follow in June") so people know whether to plan a gift now or wait.

Thank-you notes

Send handwritten notes within two weeks to:

• Your witnesses
• Anyone who attended
• Anyone who sent flowers, cards, or gifts
• Parents, if they contributed financially or emotionally

Keep them short. Three sentences is plenty.

Hosting a meal after

If you invite guests to the ceremony, you host a meal afterward — even if it's a $40-per-person lunch at a nearby restaurant. Guests should not pay for their own food at an event you invited them to. If the budget is tight, invite fewer people rather than skipping the meal.

Plan the etiquette details in one place

A courthouse wedding has fewer moving parts, but the ones that remain — the announcement wording, the thank-you list, the parent conversation — still deserve a plan. WeddingBot builds a personalized etiquette checklist based on your guest count, timeline, and whether you're hosting a reception later.

Related pages

• Wedding Etiquette Guide
• Wedding Etiquette Basics
• Common Wedding Etiquette Mistakes
• Wedding Etiquette Wording Examples
• Wedding Budget Guide

FAQ

Do I have to invite my parents to a courthouse wedding?

No, but you should tell them before the ceremony happens. Eloping is a valid choice; blindsiding immediate family is what causes lasting damage. A brief, direct conversation — in person or by phone — protects the relationship even if they're disappointed in the moment.

Is it rude to have a courthouse wedding and a big reception later?

Not at all. Sequential celebrations are common and increasingly accepted, especially for couples who want a legally simple ceremony and a separate party. Be transparent on invitations: state clearly that the legal ceremony already happened, or invite guests to a "wedding reception" rather than a "wedding."

Do guests bring gifts to a courthouse wedding?

Gifts are optional and many guests bring a card with cash or a small check, typically $50 to $150. If you're not hosting a reception, do not create a registry — it reads as a gift grab. Guests who want to give something will find a way.

Can I wear a white dress to a courthouse wedding?

Yes. White, ivory, or any color you want — courthouse weddings are no less "real" than church weddings, and the dress code is entirely yours. Most couples land on a knee-length or tea-length dress or a light-colored suit, simply because floor-length is impractical in a government building.

Who pays for a courthouse wedding?

Usually the couple, because the costs are low — marriage license ($35 to $115 depending on state), ceremony fee ($25 to $100), and any photography or meal afterward. If parents offer to contribute to a post-ceremony lunch or dinner, accepting is fine and does not obligate you to anything.

How do I announce a courthouse wedding without making people feel excluded?

Send printed announcement cards within 4 to 6 weeks, phrased as a joyful update rather than an explanation. Something like "Married on March 14 — we chose a small ceremony to keep it simple, and we're so happy to share the news." Avoid over-apologizing; it implies you did something wrong, and you didn't.

Do I need to feed my witnesses?

Yes, if the ceremony takes more than an hour of their day. Even a casual lunch at a nearby restaurant is appropriate, and you should pick up the check. Witnesses are doing you a legal favor and giving up half a workday — a meal is the minimum.

Sources

• The Knot 2024 Real Weddings Study
• Emily Post Institute — Wedding Etiquette Guidelines
• WeddingWire Newlywed Report 2024
• National Center for State Courts — Marriage License Requirements

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